A large handful of years back I remember realizing that I would have to watch my favorite actors and other celebrities die, one after another after another the older I got. I specifically named Robin Williams in a small list of people that would destroy me with their passing and I said that I needed to watch all of his films. I haven't and I realized, the day he passed, that now I'd be able to catch up, giving a laugh with tears streaming.
When he turned 50, I thought about it all over again. At the time I was worried because to me 50 was getting up there in years. Now I'm looking at his reports and thinking...
"Just 63?"
63. That's less than 30 years away for me now. That's much too soon. Regardless of the how's or the why's of his untimely death, regardless of what you may think of it or him, I'm weeping. I may yet address the depression topic, having been intimately acquainted with both it and its cousin, suicidal tendencies, but not in this post. All I can think about, besides his family, is all the laughs WE won't be laughing, all of the joy and pain we won't be experiencing because of a new movie or stand up or a quote. How Koko the gorilla, another childhood favorite of mine, is mourning the loss of her human friend, Robin. And, of course, his family and closest friends, fellow actors, the regular waitress at his favorite restaurant....
I watched Dead Poet Society last night (cried even in the good moments) and thought about one of the character in it. All the plays, movies, the life that person would have lived, is gone. Never happened. Snuffed out. Erased. I wept inside. I feel that way about Robin William now. Grief over him and the life he had yet to live, the movies and shows, his family, the love, laughter and tears that will never be, not just for him but for all of us. Regardless of why he is gone the fact of the matter is HE IS GONE and the world will never be the same, at least mine won't.
#RIPRobinWilliams
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